Sunday, February 22, 2009

My Experience With Childrens' Church

What I would like to do is share my experience on this subject, for what it's worth.... I guess just another opinion : ) I also would like to defend those parents that do chose to send their children to these ministries......yes ministries, that's what they are. I have used/needed to use them. This is my story:

When I began to attend church on a regular basis I had 4 small children ~ ages 7-to a baby. I had several older & more mature Christians as well as some family members that encouraged me to keep my children with me in church. They said the children needed to hear what I was hearing, learn what I was learning, sings hymns to the Lord that I was singing. We needed to be together. I trusted their wisdom. In all honesty, I was never big on putting my children in nursery because they didn't like it, they would just cry and get upset and wanted to be with mommy. So I didn't put them in there. I chose to keep them with me after listening to others advice/encouragement on the subject.

My 3 older children all did well in church, were never difficult, but the baby on the other hand was not, especially the older he got. It was okay for awhile though because I had family there to help (my husband did not attend church with me at this time) . If I needed to step out with the baby they were there to help by supervising the other children. It all worked out quite well until...........................these family members found a new church to go to. I didn't go with them to the new church for a few reasons , one being that my husband didn't want me to. He didn't go to church with me but didn't mind me going , so I decided to just stay put. So there I was every Sunday/Wed. sitting in the pews with 4 little ones. The littlest a toddler by this time became more & more difficult and disruptive during church. I would have to walk out with him often and was leaving my 3 other children sitting in the pews by themselves. I wouldn't take them all out with me everytime the little one would get rowdy, could you imagine the disruptiveness that would cause : )My toddler wouldn't go in the nursery, he would get so upset.

One time I put him in there and when one of the nursery workers had turned her back for a second to help another child he had opened the door and went running down the hall (sreaming) to the sanctuary. She caught him just as he opened the door to the sanctuary. So I'm sure you could see my dilema. Sit out in the hallway with my little one while my 3 older children sat in the church service by themselves, unsupervised. I became more & more discouraged and frustrated....leaving church in tears because I couldn't handle the situation myself & I wasn't hearing the service. Discouraged.....I gave up and stopped going to church. I wasn't hearing the word and losing out on the benefit of the encouragemnet it brought to my heart. What good was I to my kids if I wasn't hearing the word?

I knew the answer to this problem was not to stop going to the church, so I did what I had to.... I decided to put my children in childrens' church. The good thing was that my church ministered to me with a Christian love & allowed my toddler to go into childrens' church with my older kids even though they usually left the younger kids in the nursery. He was very content to be with his siblings & behaved very well because the class was more on his level.

Every family has a different situation or circumstances and it's not "a one size fits all " solution or choice . It doesn't make you less Godly or less loved by God or less of a parent if your children go to nursery/children's church. If you find yourself in a similar situation be encouraged and don't give up : )

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Inexpensive Valentine's Day Gift

Today being Valentine's Day gave me the perfect opportunity to express to my family my love for them. It's easy in the busyness and chaos of day to day life to overlook the good qualities of my children and husband. So I decided to write a love note to each member of my family telling them what I love and appreciate about them the most. I bought some inexpensive candy and put it in individual sandwich bags and put their note inside.

Have a Happy Valentine's Day expressing love to those you hold dear .

Thursday, February 12, 2009

The Freedom to Have Children

Dateline had the interview with the the mother that gave birth to 8 babies.. I have to say that interview was upsetting to me. Let me explain why.

I don't agree with children being born outside of marriage because I don't believe that's God's revealed will for us. Having said that though, let me tell you, my parents were NEVER married and had both my brother and I. They received public assistance and our life was not the easiest. I would even go as far to say that my mother did not show me half the love that this mother of 14 seems to give her children. My mother drank heavily and did not take care of us. I'm glad though that I was given the right to be conceived & born, even if I wasn't planned or was conceived out of selfish motivations. I'm glad no one told her I didn't have the right to be born because she made poor/wrong choices or because she couldn't give me the perfect life .....an easy life. Many would say that I shouldn't have been conceived or even born because my parents life situation wasn't optimal . Could you imagine if we all waited to have children or only had children when things were just so.......I don't think anyone would have any children : )

I have 5 children . The first two were conceived and born when we had no medical insurance. God provided by allowing us to make enough money to pay the hospital bills ourselves.When we had our 3rd child God provide medical insurance. When we had our 4th & 5th we had medical insurance we couldn't use because we had a homebirths(our insurance didn't cover it) but God provided a way for them to be born at home & provided the money to pay the midwife. So all these years He has provided for their needs. He did not provide for us through public assistance to take care of them but things have changed for us these past few years. We now have assistance with medical insurance for our children....I believe this is how God has chosen to provide for us.

The economy went into a slump, my husband's work slowed down....we lost our insurance and there was not enough money coming in to pay for it. Should we not have had 5 children because there might have been a possibility we couldn't afford to take care of them in the future? Should I no longer have children because I might not be able to afford them in the future? Anyone of us could be in the same situation as this mother.....especially considering the rate people are losing their jobs.

Science may have advanced and man now has the wisdom to help women to have children that otherwise would not have been able but that would not be if it were not God doing it. He is Sovereign and in control. I think this woman's story is a perfect example of that. Often IVF doesn't even work for those that try it and the chances of all 6 embryos implanting and thriving are pretty rare (which God is in control of as well) . This woman had 6 embryos implanted and gave birth to 8! Now that is God!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

A Valuable Day

What an interesting day I had. I was at the grocery store walking past the dairy section , when I saw a lady that I recognized from my daughter's former ballet studio. The woman didn't know it but she had blessed (through God's provision) my daughter with an almost brand new pair of pointe shoes. She had given them to the ballet teacher (they didn't fit her the way she had hoped & she had only worn them a few times) who happened to think they would be good for my daughter. The shoes were a perfect fit! Well anyway I had never had a chance to talk with this lady and thank her. I had seen her out and about through the fall and early part of winter with her little daughter and her pregnant belly : ) Today she had her new baby with her. I thought this might be a good opportunity to introduce myself and get a peek at her precious little baby.

I approached her, introducing myself, and explaining how I knew her from ballet and how she had blessed my daughter with pointe shoes. I even found out we lived right down the road from each other at one time, before our move 3 years ago. I asked her about her new baby son who she said was 4 weeks old. We got on the subject of his birth and she told me he was born at home. He was born at home with the same midwife I used : ) It was so cool to have met someone in which we have that in common and here she had been under my nose for months : )

Seeing that little baby and hearing about her homebirth brought to mind the homebirths of my two little babies . It brought back that desire to have another little baby to love...(that desire I have been pushing aside) So I left the store with these thoughts on my mind. I decided to stop at our local GNC store ,which I had never been in, to look around. I noticed the "Now Hiring" sign on the door......I asked for an application. The hours seemed like they would work for me but the more I thought about it , the sadder it made me, especially after seeing that baby.

These two events of the day got me to thinking.... I just can't see myself being away from my husband, my kids & my home, even part time. I shared these thoughts with my husband. He said it was his job to provide for us and that he knew if things were bad he knows I would help however I could. He agreed that it might be better to just pray to find work that I could do from home : ) It kind of interesting....my husband has never expressed a desire for me to get a job. It's been me putting the pressure on myself to do it. I'm torn because I want to be a helper to my husband. I'm not trying to take over I just want to a help get us out of debt. I don't know maybe the Lord has another plan and I'm unaware that I'm trying to work outside of what it is He has planned. So this is where we are and we just wait to see where God leads us.

After having all these thoughts and others related to finance and our particular life curcumstances I stumbled upon this blog post. It was so encouraging and really spoke volumes to me!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Possible Changes Ahead

My husband and I have been discussing the possibility of me getting a part time job. We really want to work on getting some debt cleaned up that we have accumulated since my husband's work slowed way down about 4 years ago. He has work now and we have income but the interest on those credits cards is a killer! Of course any job I get would have to have the optimal hours.....my husband is particular : ) He doesn't want me to work in the evenings because he won't get to see me and he doesn't like me driving in the dark, especially if the weather is bad. So it would have to be a job that was a few days a week, not an 8 hour day either. My oldest who is 15 could sit with the younger kids while I'm gone.

I'm just continuing to pray about it. I don't know if my contribution would even put a dent into our debt but I guess it's a start. I hate debt and I do feel we are a slave to it but what's done is done. I'm just praying to find our way out of it. At this point it seems so overwhelming, especially when the economy is getting worse by the day....so many are losing their jobs....blue collar and white collar alike. My husband is self employed and in a line of work that has been hit the hardest. The future , as least financially , seems so uncertain to me. I try not to think about it too much. It's hard to imagine ever losing our lovely country home. It's not the home so much (although I do like it)....its the land and the room we have to roam. So sad to think about :( However, I trust God will give us the grace we need if that day ever comes.