What an interesting day I had. I was at the grocery store walking past the dairy section , when I saw a lady that I recognized from my daughter's former ballet studio. The woman didn't know it but she had blessed (through God's provision) my daughter with an almost brand new pair of pointe shoes. She had given them to the ballet teacher (they didn't fit her the way she had hoped & she had only worn them a few times) who happened to think they would be good for my daughter. The shoes were a perfect fit! Well anyway I had never had a chance to talk with this lady and thank her. I had seen her out and about through the fall and early part of winter with her little daughter and her pregnant belly : ) Today she had her new baby with her. I thought this might be a good opportunity to introduce myself and get a peek at her precious little baby.
I approached her, introducing myself, and explaining how I knew her from ballet and how she had blessed my daughter with pointe shoes. I even found out we lived right down the road from each other at one time, before our move 3 years ago. I asked her about her new baby son who she said was 4 weeks old. We got on the subject of his birth and she told me he was born at home. He was born at home with the same midwife I used : ) It was so cool to have met someone in which we have that in common and here she had been under my nose for months : )
Seeing that little baby and hearing about her homebirth brought to mind the homebirths of my two little babies . It brought back that desire to have another little baby to love...(that desire I have been pushing aside) So I left the store with these thoughts on my mind. I decided to stop at our local GNC store ,which I had never been in, to look around. I noticed the "Now Hiring" sign on the door......I asked for an application. The hours seemed like they would work for me but the more I thought about it , the sadder it made me, especially after seeing that baby.
These two events of the day got me to thinking.... I just can't see myself being away from my husband, my kids & my home, even part time. I shared these thoughts with my husband. He said it was his job to provide for us and that he knew if things were bad he knows I would help however I could. He agreed that it might be better to just pray to find work that I could do from home : ) It kind of interesting....my husband has never expressed a desire for me to get a job. It's been me putting the pressure on myself to do it. I'm torn because I want to be a helper to my husband. I'm not trying to take over I just want to a help get us out of debt. I don't know maybe the Lord has another plan and I'm unaware that I'm trying to work outside of what it is He has planned. So this is where we are and we just wait to see where God leads us.
After having all these thoughts and others related to finance and our particular life curcumstances I stumbled upon this blog post. It was so encouraging and really spoke volumes to me!