Wednesday, February 4, 2009

A Valuable Day

What an interesting day I had. I was at the grocery store walking past the dairy section , when I saw a lady that I recognized from my daughter's former ballet studio. The woman didn't know it but she had blessed (through God's provision) my daughter with an almost brand new pair of pointe shoes. She had given them to the ballet teacher (they didn't fit her the way she had hoped & she had only worn them a few times) who happened to think they would be good for my daughter. The shoes were a perfect fit! Well anyway I had never had a chance to talk with this lady and thank her. I had seen her out and about through the fall and early part of winter with her little daughter and her pregnant belly : ) Today she had her new baby with her. I thought this might be a good opportunity to introduce myself and get a peek at her precious little baby.

I approached her, introducing myself, and explaining how I knew her from ballet and how she had blessed my daughter with pointe shoes. I even found out we lived right down the road from each other at one time, before our move 3 years ago. I asked her about her new baby son who she said was 4 weeks old. We got on the subject of his birth and she told me he was born at home. He was born at home with the same midwife I used : ) It was so cool to have met someone in which we have that in common and here she had been under my nose for months : )

Seeing that little baby and hearing about her homebirth brought to mind the homebirths of my two little babies . It brought back that desire to have another little baby to love...(that desire I have been pushing aside) So I left the store with these thoughts on my mind. I decided to stop at our local GNC store ,which I had never been in, to look around. I noticed the "Now Hiring" sign on the door......I asked for an application. The hours seemed like they would work for me but the more I thought about it , the sadder it made me, especially after seeing that baby.

These two events of the day got me to thinking.... I just can't see myself being away from my husband, my kids & my home, even part time. I shared these thoughts with my husband. He said it was his job to provide for us and that he knew if things were bad he knows I would help however I could. He agreed that it might be better to just pray to find work that I could do from home : ) It kind of husband has never expressed a desire for me to get a job. It's been me putting the pressure on myself to do it. I'm torn because I want to be a helper to my husband. I'm not trying to take over I just want to a help get us out of debt. I don't know maybe the Lord has another plan and I'm unaware that I'm trying to work outside of what it is He has planned. So this is where we are and we just wait to see where God leads us.

After having all these thoughts and others related to finance and our particular life curcumstances I stumbled upon this blog post. It was so encouraging and really spoke volumes to me!


prov31rj said...

How interesting this is. I have been going through similar things. I mentioned my itentions to become a CNA, but felt that now isn't the time.

Upon soul searching, I believe my desires and plans were based upon fear. Fear that came from reading all the negative blogs and hearing bad economic news.

Fear is not of God. I love my family and love being home and homeschooling. If the time comes, I will willingly work part time if needed, but I don't think that time is now for me.

Thanks for sharing. I will check out the blog post you linked.

Ace said...

Hi His Tender Mercies,

I was encourgaed by the post you linked to as well. I want to share something with you. You know how The Bible talks about a woman being a keeper at home and a man the provider? Well I have been through times when it was very hard for me to be a keeper at home (like now, when children do not sleep :) and we have been through times when The General had to work extra hard to provide.

Looking back objectivly, both of us helped each other out a bit, but the most help came from the situation being something that we had to cry out to God for. In other words, The General HAD to turn to God, he had to get in a relationship with him and when God worked things out it brought them closer together. Same with me, while The General gives me naps and pitches in, it is when I am on my knees with laundry piled up and sick kids and The General is at work that me and God are one. In the sense that it is ONLY GOD who can help me fulfill my purpose.

Looking back, I am GLAD that in these situations we did not TAKE OVER each others roles (NOT SAYING YOU ARE TRYING TO HERE). When we tried this (I tried to get jobs, The General started trying to run the home as far as homemaking) it kind of got in the way of the personal relationship between God and that person.

How could God rescue me, if The General did? How could God provide for The General if I did? Know what I mean.

Perhapse, and I am only saying PERHAPSE, this is between your Husband and God and God wants your Husband to see HIM as the ONLY source for his needs.

The other thing I have noticed is that God seems to (in my life at least) put me in a situation where it will not work out unless I surrender to Him and obey no matter what. When I have done it, it works out and I know THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY IT WORKED OUT, GOD. It seems then God can use me more because my faith is increased and when I come up against a trial, even a bigger one, I know what to do. Maybe this is that type of situation. You guys are getting stretched and strengthened. I don't run a marathon without training....and I don't start out the training with a full marathon. I work up to it, EACH DAY!

Hope I haven't offended. I just think that when we do what is right, what we are called to doesn't mean there will not be rough times, it means God wants to make us a COMPLETE person and that means going through trials and RELYING on HIM ALONE.

Hope this helps. Pray for your Husband and for you to do God's will. If you are in slavery, well, good news, Jesus came to set you free! You don't NEED to come up with a solution, you might just need to be extra comforting, extra frugal, extra encouraging and extra prayerful (and extra SEXY always helps LOL). Maybe Jesus wants to help your Husband be the hero here....and to be your Husband's hero.

Many Blessings :)

Nancy said...

Praying that God will direct you in these decissions.
We are in a pretty similiar situation with debt. I thought about just working through this summer at a vegetable farm close to here, and my son could help out there too, and learn from it.

His Tender Mercies said...

prov31rj ~ I do agree I was probably doing what you were doing.... being fearful : ( I get so tired of hearing all the doom and gloom.It's hard not to be fearful..... I think I've been basing alot of my decisions on fear lately.

Ace ~ I totally get what your saying! I agree that there is only one way to work it out and that's God's way. I guess as a human being my tendency is to want to fix problems my way and in my time.......when God has His plans & His way for working out the situation.

His Tender Mercies said...

Nancy ~ Thank you for your prayers. It's a hard decision to know exactly what to do. Just the thought of having to be away from home and my kids and the added responsibility can be a bit overwhelming...especially since I been a SAHM for 13 years.